Emotion changes from day to day,
		 The truth is always what is.

   A confrontation with Milton Malman never ceveloped in the second half of the
semester.  Victor went about his job with relatively little interference from
managemnet or collegues.  Ther ewere the usual childish games that some take
more seriously than others.  But Vic ignored them for the most part and even
toned down his anti-establisment diatribes to some extent.  This did little to
improve his acceptance and approval rating with Milton.  When he was asked by
Victor for a summer position, Milton promised him a class that had zero
enrollment and never got enough to be a go.  In the fall Milton asked with
strained casualness for the notes and slideshows Victor had prepared for the
previous Spring's class.  The low key dispute over the ownership of the materials
ended when Vic told Milt to "Sue me!"  The course Victor was offered for the
Fall had a low enrollment and was unsure.  Many people place revenge high in
their list of priorities.
   Victor is not a vengeful person.  He disapproves of the system, obviously,
but he doesn't blame anyone in particular.  So he feels persecuted when he is
singled out for abuse because of his view of the world of humanity.  Granted,
it is seldom clear that that is the reason he is singled out.  But even if he
doesn't completely understand why, he does know when he is being abused.  He
also knows when he has no power to fight the abuse.  Coupled with his low
tolerance for abuse. another thing he doesn't have in common with many people,
his only recourse is to escape the situation and hope it doesn't follow him.
Again he wonders where the last refuge on the Planet will be and when he will
get there.  Personally, I'm beginning to hope he will make a stand, no matter
how hopeless, before he gets there.
   /********* NOTE
  Go to Eac See daughter persecuted by Ybarra as revenge for letter. Contact
  gangbangers and have them threaten to sell Ybarra's daughter into a Mexican
  whorehouse if he doesn't let up.  Then attackked by corps for Java anti intel
  agents and rescued by Swiss to develop the counter?????
   ************/

   "Victor, why are you thinking of running away again?  Can't you see that
Milton just wants a little display of commitment and dedication?"
   "Yeah, just lie the sorporations, he wants what they tell us there is none
of, free lunch!  the more they get the more they want.  And it isn't really for
themselves,  They get some recognition but what they steal from us goes mostly
to their masters.  The managers, eve the CEOs and politicians are nothing but
specially trained slaves.  But we are the stupidist of all because we believe
them when they tell us they deserve more because they are better or stronger
than us.  The only thing better about them is their organization and loyalty
to one another.  Their strength is the power of their gang."
   "Are yu saying they are all mobsters; that the Mafia runs the country?"
   "No, the Mafia doesn't run the the country.  They aren't nearly as well
organized or powerful as the gang that runs the country.  The illegal mob can
never deliberately organize the kind of power the corporations have gained
through the inheritance of a tradition of economic exploitation of the many
by the few."
   "But Victor you're talking like a Marxist."
   "Marx sucked as a would be social engineer but he was a competant analyst.
Unlike Marx, I propose nothing; so my solution can't be questioned.  The
situation is getting so bad for me that I might survive as well without society.
There are more and more like me every day.  But we have no where to go.  All
the land is claimed by one society or another.  We must eventually realize that
the only way to get living space is to make it for ourselves.  We have been
rejected as superfluous by the corporate culture so we can't do that by
legitimate means.  The trick is to wait until there is a critical mass of us
and do something before there is time for a counter reaction.  And before we
starve to death!"
   "Victor, you wouldn't be in danger of starvation if you would just do what
the society expects of you."
   "Bullshit!  I know I've chosen to starve rather than be a slave again but
the choice was forced on me.  The corporate culture had no place for me even when
I was still their thrall.  If I search hard enough and eat enough shit, I might
find a job on which I could barely live.  I would end up more miserable than I
am right now.  The stress and worry of trying to make ends meet and meet the
expectations of the system aren't worth the meager pay they are willing to give.
It is virtual slavery you are asking me to choose instead of starvation.  I
refuse to make that choice.  I'll do whatever I can to survive and work to destroy
the massmind Social Thought Template that supports this intolerable society.
That is, in plain English, FUCK YOU!"
   "OK, you don't want to be a slave but you said you will do whatever you can
to survive.  Doesn't that mean taking a job and taking orders and all that?"
   "The jobs will never last very long because, though I'll listen to the directions
and do the job well, the employer and supervisors will eventually realize that
I will not be controllable to the extent they require.  They want ego extentions
of themselves that have no minds of their own.  We are all commanded to stifle
ourselves in the bosses' favor.  We must also believe that such is good, right
and natural.  They aren't real smart but they can always spot heretic given
enough time.  Their reward for stifling themselves in their boss's favor is to
have underlings to abuse in turn.  They won't tolerate one who doesn't accept a
abuse in this hierarchical scheme.  So until I can devise a means of survival
that is independent of this evil empire I'll just have to get used to short
term employment to meet my needs.
   "And by the way, better pay across the board, that resulted in a better
standard of living and genuine full employment, coupled with system that actually
cared wahether we lived or died, would nuetaralize me completely.  But I doubt i
need to worry about the integrity of my position on that account.  I would love
to be proved wrong but it will never happen because it can't be done with words!"


    All that background has developed, along with the course Victor is teaching,
in the past two months since he started this likely to be aborted comeback.
How does it affect his interactions with his superiors (superiors are never
more than perfunctorally recognized by Victor for the sake of their utility to
survival) and his fellow faculty?



And we'll get to samples of those dialogues
but first I need to question Victor about his attitude towards the corporate
authority most of us accept without question.



/**********************************************************
Let Clay's character ask Victor if he thinks he is perfect, what will he replace
it with etc. etc  The house fascist. Blend with Buf as Pete
Milton says anything to be a 'good" manager.  His understudy, Hamm, hides info
and gives disinfo while pretending to be helpful sometimes incompetantly and
other times to protect his corner.




/****************
  John, possibly naively, undermines Victor's credibility by refering his
  "paranoia" to others.  Then, if there is any complaint, no matter how
  selfish and irrational, like Jan, John takes it upon himself to
  intercede and try to lure Victor away from the "trouble spot".  He thinks
  all this goes on over Victor's head.

	If Hopi were to help in the way I have fantacised it would be because
	she cared about me and/or appreciated what I was attempting and wanted
	to assist me to achieve my purpose and ends.  In either case she would
	act selflessly, uncritically and for the good of all.

	John, on the other hand, for all his talk about positivity, tries
	to help for negative reasons.  He either views me as sadly demented or
	tragically misguided.  He sees himself as my counselor and protector.
	What he does is mainly for himself and tends to reinforce his sense of
	intellectual and moral superiority.  That necessarily discounts my own
	understanding and purposes, perceiving a need for them to be discouraged
	for my "own good".
	John is much more interested in self image, prestige, respect,
	pretentiousness, posturing and social position.  In short he is
	superficial.
	Develop John's "help" as well intentioned but unconsciously self serving.
	Show Mauro's games etc. interpersed with unfolding John.  Mauro and Herman
	etc. are a detailed example of petty greed nad power mongering with
	Bill as pettier yet.

	Eventually introduce Hopi as an example of genuine, unselfish and
	understanding assistance that addresses Victor's (and the world's)
	real needs.  (just as you have remembered and fantacized whether or not
	it reoccurs in the real world)  This is the introduction of correct
	positivity to the story and the beginning of comparison of the two
	fundamental (or archetypal) mindsets: Yin and Yang, worldy and celestial,
	condtioning vs. purpose, confusion vs. clarity.

	Can Victor evolve?  Can he eclipse the earthly conditioned confusion of
	negative forces (no matter how accurately depicted)?  Can his being
	approach something like the mind of Tao in the midst of all these
	negative forces?  Am I evolved enough to write this?  Can we find a more
	positive place and grow more lucid, strong and autonomous?

	Remember to keep working the distinction between abstract and concrete;
	symbol and thing and the importance of reality, primordial thought,
	which is confused and lost, for most, in the maze of abstract human
	inventions.

	Can I break up arguments and scatter them through time as I did with
	"jumping to conclusions"  and "verifiing sources of info used to evalutae
	me" in the conversations with john on succeeding days?



   ********************/


************OUTLINE NOTE*************
Andy and the gunuts


section II conversation with Steve about
pyramid game economy??
show that people at all levels (classes are similarly
enthralled by juxtaposing Victor's encounters
{perhaps during which his articulative ability grows
as he strengthens himself against massmind) with people
at various levels to point out their similarities.
That they are all out of touch with the basic
justification for cooperating in a society/system.
Also point up the fact that nobody wants to see the
homeless.  Their readiness to believe the homeless
are so by choice or through own fault is indicative
of their desire to assuage their guilt and the latent
fear it might happen to them!  Force readers to face reality!!!
Show their belief in individuality and adherence to massmind
are mutually exclusive concepts and by holding both they
are virtually schizophrenic.
*************************************


						"Knowing"
	Humanity is its own god and devil.  Or so it has become.
	People may have known God in some ancient unrecorded time.
	I see only self interest in the confusion of God's today.
	I'm not befuddled so, for God would have us kNO[W]!
        When offered the opportunity to choose good or evil we
	Might have declined, leaving them undefined and not existent.
	Only Nothing is absolute!  
	Where was negativity when required?                    

                            "Probabilities"
x	"What chance do think there is that you'll do any good"?
o	"Virtually none"!
x	"Then why do you bother"?
o	"It amuses me... what else do I have to do"? Snickering,
	"the probability that what I've written will go to the 
	common heart and the people will rise up and throw off the
	6000+ year oppression of wealth and create a heavenly utopia
	is almost nonexistent and would be except for Shroedinger
	and Heisenberg who tell us that's impossible!  It's that 
	small; but still greater than my chance of getting a job in 
	MBA ridden, living standard avalanching, service economy...
	And anyway, what else do have to do?"
*************************************
				   "The Best Motivation and Guide"
	When God speaks I will answer because then I will know.  My 
love, hate, anger, fear, hunger or lust are not affected by the 
positive or negative elements of my outlook or personality in any
significant way at this time.  Today the stimulii of emotion are
reduced to the will to survive.  My particular "Weltanschauung"
is sufficiently developed for the wielding of the power I hope
to create or channel.
	But I'll need to be quick.  Studies indicate a person who
is homeless will live 2-4 years before succombing to starvation,
malnutrition, lack of medical attention, exposure, nutrition
related diseases or some combination thereof.  I didn't include
alcohol or drugs because they have no influence over me.  Though
perhaps I should because I am still vulnerable to the violence they produce.
ve.
	When the economic slide (personal) begins, despondency and
depression often (maybe most often) result in substance abuse.  Not
the other way around as the middle class wishes to believe!  Homeless
people are, in general, not responsible for their situation.  Though
we are as susceptable to the ubiquitous conditioning process as any
bourgeois, thus many believe themselves at fault.  The truth is, the
same number would be made unpersons by the economy if no culpable
parties could be found.  But politicians don't fix problems, they fix
blame.  However, this is digression.
*************************************
	In fact, I'm not even that interested in what motivates me.
The only stimulii I'm interested in are those which will excite our
people and their masters sufficiently to take responsibility for the
oppressive conditions they have created.  Fear and greed are how we
got here.  I fear only fear will move the masters.  A hundred years
of non violent action and two summers of rioting brought about a civil
rights bill in the sixties.  A year long Seamy Valley trial produced a
travesty and a week of burning led to justice.  What real change has
ever come without pain?  Then, what real change has gone not undone?
*************************************
		  A Child's Declaration of Independence
   How is it going to work?  Where a household member might chip in to do what
needs doing and might not keep a strict accounting, a tenant must track the
energy exchange more carefully.  (Have a care here to avoid the pitfalls of the
superstitions of others.)
   A household member is treated as one of the family and has only such
restrictions and priveleges with respect to the use of family resources as
apply fairly to all family members.
   A tenant, on the other hand, is paying for priveleges and usages received
according to a contractual agreement.
   In any case I will be subservient to no one... ever... anwhere!  I will not
be part of a family with a fascist/slave hierarchy.  Any contractual labor or
monetary exchange I agree to, will not imply superior or inferior participants.
It will imply euality and liberty.  I am an American with Christlike values of
love, cooperation and honesty.  I am not a treacherous Corporate Culturist (with
the accent on Cult) or a thrall of such ilk.
   I will participate in a family life, as a fully enfranchised first class
member, or freely enter into a fully disclosed contractual arrangement.  I will
not delude myself that both are possible simultaneously.  I will not infer
family acceptance or contractual terms.  Rather, I will have a detailed contract,
written or verbal, that will be unambiguous and intolerant of misunderstanding
or genuine acceptance in the group.  In either case it must be spelled out.  To
pretend otherwise can only result in enthrallment to the whims of the arbitrary
and capricious children who would be the only people foolish enough to attempt
such a thing.
*************************************
   Since an orderly hierarchy is an implicit requirement of any workplace, let's
quit pretending.  Let's dress to a uniform code and where insignia of rank.
   I will have the lowest rank and therefore will have no recourse to the
judgements, evaluations, patronization or other indignities that anyone cares to
inflict upon me.  I'll be the last guy.
   Such orderliness is implicit in our system and if we just come out of the
closet, so to speak, then there should be less conflict, tension and stress
for everyone.  There will be no need to compete and intrigue for power because
all will be in the open with everyones position fixed.  To accomplish this
reuires no substantive change.  It is merely recognition.
*************************************
			    "Who is an Animal"
   "Yeah, my business failed and I couldn't find a job.  If I had it wouldn't
have paid enough to stay afloat.  The Corporate Culture and its susidiary
government won't pay enough for one to comsume te required amount, at a give
economic level.  They will loan you back a portion of their profits so you can
barely keep up from week to week; then accuse you of irresponsibility when you
can no longer support the debt.  Of course the profits they squeeze out of us,
which cause this situation, may not be seen as irresponsible.
   "Anyway, I gave up trying and feeling guilty about it at the same time.  It
was hoppeless.  I had maxed out the credit cards making house payments, child
support and just living; then I walked away with a clear conscience."
   My friend gave me a twisted , ironic smile and said, "You animal!"
   "Right!" I said, recognizing my cue, "They won't share enough for us to live
They will only loan us enough of what we cooperate with them to produce to allow
us to barely hang on for a while.  But when we default on the loans we are
animals.  Well, we're all animals!  But who are the predators and who are the
victims?  When the mad dog corporations have shipped most of the jobs out of the
country and automated, eliminated or roboticised the remainder, how are the rest
of us going to eat?"
   At this point the fool's training kicked in.  "Oh, you think there is a
conspiracy to starve people to death?"
   "No", I patiently explained.  There is no conspiracy, the yuppies who are
looting the economy can't think that far ahead.  They barely know what looting
means and almost certainly aren't aware that they are doing it.  All they see
is how to imitate others and fill their own pockets.  But just because no one
planned it, or is even conscious of it, doesn't mean that people aren't more
economically stressed every day; that there aren't more homeless every day.
   Remember, the statistical life expectancy of a homeless person is three to
five years.  The number of homeless continues to increase while the unemployment
rate falls.  It's a miracle!  The principles we adhere to that prescribe this
situation have no meaning when you are starving.  Our finest inventions of law
and morality are senseless abstractions to someone on the street and there are
more and more of us every day.  It gets to the point where the only thing that
matters is whose side are you on?  And if you think that you have a choice of
sides think again.  In the end you will be placed in a circumstance and it will
become a matter of recognition rather than a willful decision.  You will be
forced to abandon denial!"
*************************************