The knowledge Victor has gained by his less and less unique and more and
more negative and depressing perspective is viewed as paranoid by normal
people.  This, so to speak, is the view from the top.  Of course I mean the
view provided by the top...  I'll nail this down regardless of the difficulty
presented by our damned ambiguous language.  So once more, the view handed
down from the top.  If Victor, or any one else who has had their face pushed
into the muck of the truth, attempts to tell others, they can be dealt with by
simply having a well trained populace immediatley label them a lunatic.  The
work of the masters is lessened considerably.  The rulers can go on growing
richer while the rest grow impoverished.  A gradual decline in living standard
is noticed but "well explained".  The employees who never find a job again
disappear, by well documented undocumentation of the homeless; and ultimately
die, because of a lack of the means of survival, after a couple of years.  The
middle class is too complacently stupid to see this will happen to them;
already is happening to them.  Perhaps some of them cynically welcome the
reduction in population.  Of the last Victor asks, "what do you think it might
occur to the rulers to do with cloning technology bearing in mind what they
are already doing with robotics?  Do you really think you're so special you'll
be spared?
   Victor thinks conspiracy theories are provided for popular consumption by
contemporary authorities who are well paid by the rulers.  (The ruling class,
the 5% who own everything and therefore, ultimately pay for everything, buy
and sell obedience, loyalty, people, everything.  The fact that their money is
symbolic of wealth created by the rest of us and legally stolen by the few is
not considered relevant.)  The middle class are particularly adept at
identifiing conspiracy theorists.  Any one, such as Victor, who is dissatisfied
in any way that conflicts with their standardized "thinking" is labeled
paranoid and so dismissed from consiousness along with any awarenness they may
have stimulated.  They take inordinate pride in the supposed intelligence
required to accomplish this relativly simple process of self deception but in
the end they are no less deceived and diverted from truth than those who
believe the consiracy theories.  It all makes communication more difficult
for Victor.


   Two blocks from campus Victor runs into John Le'Treue, and old college friend.
Vic trys to relate some of his thoughts to his friend who is on the verge of
societal rejection but still in denial.  They talked about what they each had
been doing lately and some of the things Victor had been thinking about, though
he carefully guarded against any reference to the "Y2k plot".  After what had
been considered a thoroughly "negative" speech by Vic, the now almost exfriend
responded, "If you don't like it why don't you leave, we want things to be
like they are here!"
   "I was born here and have a right to live here. Besides, it's no
different anywhere else."  Telling him to leave had jacked Victor up some
notches, not least because it reminded him of the Suarita fool.  He wanted to
talk about the arrogance and pretention of a society that believes itself to
be the premier on the planet and was so screwed up it couldn't move the food
it had stored to the people who needed it.  So instead, it is bought up with
tax money collected from the poor and middle class then dumped or turned into
fuel for cars; all to keep the price up, while even many of those who still
had jobs could barely afford to eat. But he had been too angry to formulate
anything so complex.
   His adversary still had a factory load to fire, "There seems to be
nothing you like about the world.  If you don't want to get a job why don't
you commit suicide?"
   Vic didn't even bother to consider the connectivity in that statement
(and that guy spent fifteen years in graduate school to almost get a PhD.)
but had had time to chill and think a little.  "I'd never make it that easy
for you!  Besides, the world of humanity isn't all there is to life!  There's
a lot more to planet Earth than the human race no matter how much we pump
ourselves up!  But really, John, we shouldn't be arguing like this.  We are
almost in the same situation.  If I could find a way to work in the system
and maintain any dignity, I would."
   John was thoughtful for a second and said,  "I'm teaching at the Community
College, in the electronics department, this semester, while taking a graduate
course and trying to find a PhD. advisor who will take me on at the University.
I don't make much money but the people are nicer where I teach.  I'll give you
my phone number.  Maybe you can come over and check it out one day soon.  They
need lecturers badly for next semester; especially in digital logic and computer
programming.  You might like it there."
   "That does sound interesting" said Vic as he wondered if John was just trying
to convince himself that Victor's attitude is a sign of weakness, and thus the
mention of "nicer" people.  Humiliating Victor might be John's way of getting
even for being subjected to Vic's heresies and a means to build his own self
esteem and impress others.  John seems to need a lot of recognition and
approval.  That may be the only reason he wants a PhD. in the first place.
Ironically, if he were as interested in knowledge as he is in the appearance of
superiority he might already have succeeded.  But, the idea of teaching is
attractive to Victor.  Not only because it would give him legal access to
anonymous PCs on the internet.  It would bring his own knowledge and experience
back into focus.  He knows he would like it. Victor enjoyed working as an
engineer and he was good at it.  He had a more difficult time with people's
social games.  But, he thought, what do I have to lose?  He said, "surely you
have an email account and I have freebies, it would be easier for me if we
swapped email addresses."
   And so they did and Victor continued on to the library.  On arrival he
plugged into an email account and read over some correspondence from a couple
of months ago.  The dialogue had started with Vics appeal to a number of
homeless "helpers" around the country.  He got email addresses form web pages
each maintained.  Only a few responded to his plea for assistance and none gave
anything but "good" advice.  The colloquy that follows was the most tenacious
of the few responses he got from the two dozen or so who received his original
mailing, which follows:


						HELP!
   After five years without a job, the loss of close relationships with
my children, house and car, I still actively seek employment in my
profession.  Though I believe the probability I'll ever again be
employed as an Electrical Engineer is low, I won't give up completely.
   I think the free home pages I've developed,
				members.tripod.com/~agkaiser
			 and members.tripod.com/~anetpower,
to try to market my Window's application and writings have the greatest
chances of success that exist for me.
   I'm fortunate to retain an older 486 and photocells, batteries and
inverter to power it.  The camp where I keep them is a 50 mile bicycle
ride from Tucson, where I access the internet at the library.
   My computer needs a new mouse and HDD but should also be upgraded
along with a new C++ compiler before I continue work on the application.
I can still write but my output is limited by the time required to
travel and to assure survival by acquiring necessities of life.
   I often use inordinate amounts of time standing on street corners
with signs trying to stay alive.  Please help me to continue what I've
begun.
	   Send money to:
				  Victor Panover
				  PO box 22935
				  agkaiser1@gmail,com
	   (checks etc. payable to: Greg Kaiser.  Victor would rather that
	   I pay the taxes!)

   You might look at it as a small business or writers grant.  I have
little faith in the programs available to the homeless.  I believe they
are primarily designed to place the government money designated for the
needy into the pockets of administrators who are more interested in
headcount than help.  I'd rather have a chance to help myself.  Please
feel free to forward this message to as many interested persons or
organizations as you may care to.
			Thank you,
				  Victor


In a message, you write:

<< You might look at it as a small business or writers grant.  I have
 little faith in the programs available to the homeless.  I believe they
 are primarily designed to place the government money designated for the
 needy into the pockets of administrators who are more interested in
 headcount than help.  I'd rather have a chance to help myself.  >>

Victor,

Thanks for your e-mail to the GNCA Inc. - Keystone Hall web page.  Our agency
specifically helps women and men who are addicted to drugs or alcohol, and who
are primarily homeless.  Our board is made up 100% of volunteers, they receive
no funds.  Our staff receive minimum salaries (and they are highly qualified
counselors who would be paid much more if they worked elsewhere).  We not only
help people with their addiction, but we have programs which help them to
obtain work and go back into the community.  Due to recent federal funding
cuts, a significant part of our income is gone, and we are working hard to
raise money to continue our current programs.

I appreciate your situation, and your request for help.  At the current time
all of my personal donations go right back to Keystone Hall where I work.  I
hope that you are able to turn your life around,  and that the people you send
e-mail are willing to help you out.  In the mean, rest assured that there ARE
non-profit agencies out there who are working hard to help the homeless, not
with hand-outs, but with education, counselor and real practical assistance to
get them back on their feet and contributing to society.

I wish you well in all your endeavors.

Janice (surname deleted)
Director, Development & Community Relations
address deleted


Janice,
   Thank you for the personal reply.  I might have qualified "I have little
faith in the programs available to the homeless" with [in Arizona].  Even then
it would not have been perfectly accurate but would still have conveyed my
impression of the general attitude here. I'm pleased to know that Keystone Hall
is operated by volunteers and motivated by a desire to help society rather than
throughput. The problem of depersonalization and stereotyping of homeless and
jobless people exists, I'm sure, outside Arizona.  With a "service economy",
there are less and less living wage jobs as the living standard declines for the
great majority.  Even if insufficient unconnected alcoholics and drug addicts
could be found (ever notice how they cover for someone "in the family") the same
number of people would fall to downsizing (money hoarding by the rich) as need
to hit the streets today. Actually more... ... and more and more as time goes
on.   For most people the government's 1983 (or so) decision to forget us when
our unemployment ins. run's out,  officially making us unpersons, is a comfort.
They don't care to see us or know we exist unless they can quickly find a
rationalization that assuages the fear this may happen to them.  A fear they
better quit hiding before it does happen. Unfortunately I'm not an alcholic or
drug addict and and don't qualify for exceptional programs like yours.  Without
any insulation from my peers and with no filtering process I've learned there
are many like me.  It's hard to tell the exact percentage because we tend to
keep a low profile.  We don't get arrested and so most people, including those
involved with good, bad or indifferent programs, don't know we exist.  I doubt
that many of them admit, even to themselves, they don't really care.
						  Victor

Victor,

Thank you for your eloquent letter.

Because we have a strong commitment by local volunteers and our marginally
paid professional staff, does not mean that we are easily and fully funded.
At this time in our country's history, neither homelessness nor addiction are
"in" causes to fund or support.  It is a real struggle to find money to
support the work that we do.  It seems to me that the major reason that local
and federal agencies have to even think of helping us is to "keep *those*
people off the streets" (so they don't have to be aware) rather than to find a
solution to social problems.

Although our focus is limited to homeless people in recovery, we have a
program called "Transitional Living" where we help women and men to obtain job
skills (beyond those which might qualify them to work for a fast food chain),
find a safe place to live and return to a better quality of life (including
sobriety).  Since 80% of homeless people also have an addiction to alcohol or
drugs, we hope that we are directing our energy in a productive way.

As a staff person at Keystone Hall, I am also one of this organization's
strongest financial donors.  I return the majority of my pay check each week
back to Keystone to purchase items that do not fit within the budget, focusing
on the needs of the clients first, then the staff.  Sometimes I feel like a
salmon swimming upstream, but my innate stubborness helps me to keep going.

The letter you sent was compelling.  I'm afraid that many of the people that
you sent it to won't truly believe the difficulties that you face (just as
they do not for our clients).  It is interesting to note that people are more
apt to be supportive of others during difficult times, rather than during
times of plenty.  Perhaps society in general needs to be reminded of how
fortunate they are, before they are willing to be supportive of those who have
so much less.

With the personal skills that you have, you should consider being an agent of
change within Arizona.  Many of the legislators have e-mail.  Blanket them
with letters and facts until they are willing to change the system.  Every
journey begins with a single step.

Once again, my best to you.

Janice

In a message, you write:

<<     Sorry to bother you again but are the 80% substance abusers among
 the homeless broken down into those who are homeless because of the
 abuse and those who respond to the depression of homelessness by
 drinking etc. >>

Victor,

I have not seen the 80% statistic explained in more detail.  What I do know is
that alcohol or drug addiction is a progressive disease.  Unfortunately those
who do not recieve help, over a long period of time, often lose their homes,
families, and jobs.  My brother was one of those people (so I am personally
aware of the process).  In speaking with the homeless clients who come to us
for help (and I talk with each and every one of them), I have never heard a
story of someone becoming homeless, then beginning to drink.  (Although this
does not mean that some do this).   Most of them began their addiction very
early in life, often in their early teens.  Most began with drinking alcohol.
Some of them, but not all, progressed to other drugs.  Again, this information
is from brief interviews with our particular clients.

Janice


Janice,
   I've been hiding in the desert for the past week.  sorry to be so slow in
   responding. I doubt many can resist the overpowering strength of your
   personality in an interview.  Those who don't go away convinced they are what
   you have perceived have likely said what you wish to hear in order to gain
   your approval. Polling for statistical evidence is a tricky business and as
   wont to produce a desired result as an inquisitor's screws.  It can be a
   torturous process for the 'client'.  Be that as it may, alcohol and/or drug
   abuse are not my problem.  The statistical conclusion that one size fits all
   is troublesome to me. The normal curve is a frequency distribution (Fourier
   transform).  Though an infinite number of individual frequencies may be close
   to a particular vertex only one is at it.  Our predelection for
   simplification as an aid to comprehension, influences our perception often
   forcing a non-existant convergence.  But what is my problem? I lack the
   necessary resources to turn my Window's application into a real competitor
   for market bandwidth; although I've placed an underpowered version at
   https://members.tripod.com/~anetpower .  To make it better I need an office
   with an ugraded computer and C++ compiler and of course a telephone.  My old
   '486 powered by PV without network access at my desert campsite is no longer
   capable of running windows. I can still use a simple editor to write fiction
   but I must bicycle 50 miles to Tucson to upload it to
   https://members.tripod.com/~agkaiser    (the librarians are freakin' out, they
   think I'm a hacker) Today I uploaded a draft of Chapter 1 and some notes to
   try to see if the format I've chosen will work.  Technically it appears ok
   but I could use some feedback on the user friendliness of the pages.   Click
   on Victor's in the sidebar.  It will take you to a 'contents' page with
   introductions and links to the Chapters such as they are. As my old huntin'
   buddy from the 60's used to say: Life is good if you don't weaken,
									  Victor


  Janice didn't bother to reply to this last.  But in the meantime there had
been another short exchange.  Mike may have written from a computer in the same
library but proximity didn't attenuate his subtle bigotry anymore than extended
conversation did for Janice.


Mike, from Tucson, wrote:

Victor...

Thanks for taking the time to write.  I have not crossed paths with very
many homeless engineers (electrical or otherwise).  Unless you have chosen
to drop out (for whatever reasons), there are any number of agencies
within Arizona that may be helpful.  Notwithstanding your comment about
"lining the pockets of administrators," the various homeless programs can
often help you to buy time with food, shelter, and other support services
while convincing some reputable firm to hire you.  Do you have any
interest in such a scenario, or is flying a sign your present space?

Tell me more about yourself, at least so I have an understanding of your
homeless circumstances and how you got into that situation.



Mike,
I didn't get into this situation by choice.  The choice between shelters
and flying a sign doesn't sufficiently cover the alternatives.  I'll continue
seeking funding for my projects including:
https://members.tripod.com/~agkaiser https://members.tripod.com/~anetpower ; by
whatever means I can create. That doesn't change the fact that society
rejected me before I returned the favor.  Or that I'm not a substance abuser.
Your home page is more enlightened than most and it may have been the
arizona.edu page (where I originally obtained your e-address) that
acknowledged that alcohol etc. often follow homelessness not vice versa as
many believe.  By the way, I'm a U of AZ alumnus, 1987, and am writing this
in the Science Library. Even if many programs are operated by sincere,
dedicated and under compensated people, they have no power to force society
to take responsibility for it's excess workers and can only place one by
displacing another.  I'm not into musical chairs.  And I'm not looking
forward to the "final solution".  Hopefully it won't occur to the MBA
parasites for a while yet.  They aren't too bright and when do see it they
still won't realize that the systems they create will eventually be applied
to themselves. "The Earth shall be cleansed" saith the profit of God.  And,
"the ruling elite shall inherit the Earth".  This, I hope, is understood to
be an amusing metaphore and not a sound basis for sweeping inferences.
I've strayed pretty far from what I'd intended to include in this response
and am really writing for my notedisk.  I hope, at least, you got a laugh.
I'm going to leave town for a week when I finish here so I won't see any
e-mail for a few weeks.
			 Thank you for your interest,
					  Victor

   A response from a Christian informed Victor that all his problems would be
solved in the next world.  Victor didn't bother to engage that one,
realizing his need for a more immediate solution unless he wanted to accept
the other before his time.


   Then Vic sent off his email to the city council members and said to me,
"See, I've been working with the system all along!  It's time for a break.  The
'library Buf' has been watching me in a way that is strange, even for him."